Troubled

My heart is heavy.

My mind is heavy.

So many things going on between the two of them.

How do you know what's real and what's just my emotional state running wild?

It feels real.
It also feels too good to be true.
Especially with the hard decisions that will have to occur to make it work.

What do I have to show for the last 5 years trying to make it here?

I'm scared but at the same time....I've never felt like such a risk might be worth it.

Is it grandiose thinking or is it time to step out of my comfort zone and take a leap of faith?

I used to always believe that everything happens for a reason. However, I have also come to realized that my impatience has also cause a lot of missed opportunities in my life. I have often not waited on a good thing and settled for what was now only to kick myself later. My life would have gone in a totally different direction if I had just waited.

On the outside, I am a strong, confident,
risk taker who isn't afraid to fail.

On the inside, I'm a scared impatient little
girl who needs to be reassured that she's doing
the right thing.


What is the RIGHT thing? How do I know my decisions aren't going to land me heartbroken and lost--again.


I know something in my life needs to change and change big.
I can't keep going on living like this.
It's not good for me or my children.

A risk like this would take many many months to come to fruition....and who knows what will happen in those months.

Time is the only thing that will prove to me if this is the direction I should go--if only I can be patient.