I'm beat and exhausted but I had an amazing day! Got the girls this morning, had breakfast at McDs...they love the Oatmeal....I hate it....too time consuming to make and we sell a boat load of them every morning....lol...met up with Mike, we all goofed off and played for awhile, then went to the store for snacks and popcorn. Watched Despicable Me cuddled up with the girls and Mike. The were fighting over which one got to be by him instead of me! haha! That's a first! Usually they're fighting over me! I knew they'd love him. He's pretty awesome....oh wait... I'm awesome...he's amazing! (our little joke)
Took the girls out to their FAVORITE restaurant...Super King Buffet. It amazes me the things my kids eat at such a young age! They LOVE "baby octopus", crab legs and sushi! #1 is a master with chopsticks & #2 tries really hard!! For my friends who know me well, I posted pics on my facebook! We took a ton! All 4 of us taking turns with the camera! After dinner, we went to Cold Stone for dessert. My Iowa boy had never been! I think I have now introduced him to 5 of his favorite places....in just over a week. . .haha!
Got the kids back a little late....about 10 mins past their bedtime. Their Aunt was NOT happy. But the way I look at it, I never have them out late and we were having a blast and that's all that matters! It's not MY fault their dad made plans for them with his fiance on MY weekend.
Everything feel so natural. Like we've know each other forever. In such a short time he has grown on me like no other. I am NOT one to fall easily. While I haven't fallen yet, he has definitely found a big place in my heart. I can only hope that things continue to be as awesome and amazing as they have been so far. We all know that the glitter eventually falls off or dulls. However, I am confident that he is as genuine as he seems. The real deal and the complete package. I am not easily fooled nor am I easily bullshitted. I am a master at taking away other people's excuses and calling them on their bluff. As my friend who set me up with him said "From what I know of him, he seems to be a really nice, genuine guy, if he's not, well, then he's one hell of an actor and pulled the wool over my eyes."
What are the chances of having a few friends all from different social circles all trying to set me up with the SAME guy? Pretty ironic if you ask me. . . .Is it fate? Is it destiny? Only time will tell, but I am happy and I am content where I am. It's where I've always wanted to be. Am I scared, Oh, I'm freaking terrified but I would rather have tried and failed than to let the opportunity with such a great man slip through my fingers without a second thought.
<3 Goodnight. . . .4am comes early. . . .<3
Sunday, January 30, 2011
I Just Call You Mine. . . .Martina McBride
I pinch myself sometimes to make sure I'm not in a dream
That's how it seems
I close my eyes and breathe in the sweetest moments I've ever known
It feels like home
And here I am I want to be your everything
There you are
Turning winter into spring
And everyone that sees you
Always want's to know you
And everyone that knows you
Always has a smile
You're standing ovation after years of waiting
For a chance to finally shine
Everyone calls you amazing
Yeah
I just call you mine
I fall apart
Just a word from you just somehow
seems to fix
Whatever's wrong
Oh, you reach into the weakest moments
And remind me that I'm strong
You've got to know
I'd be a fool not to see you even worse
To forget that you're more than I deserve
Cause everyone that sees you
Always want's to know you
And everyone that knows you
Always has a smile
You're standing ovation after years of waiting
For a chance to finally shine
Everyone calls you amazing
Yeah
I just call you mine
Nothing makes sense when you're not here
As if my whole world disappears
Without you what's the point of it
Cause everyone that sees you
Always want's to know you
And everyone that knows you
Always has a smile
You're the dream that I've been chasin' after years of waiting
For a chance to finally shine
Everyone calls you amazing
I just call you mine
Everyone calls you amazing
I just call you mine
That's how it seems
I close my eyes and breathe in the sweetest moments I've ever known
It feels like home
And here I am I want to be your everything
There you are
Turning winter into spring
And everyone that sees you
Always want's to know you
And everyone that knows you
Always has a smile
You're standing ovation after years of waiting
For a chance to finally shine
Everyone calls you amazing
Yeah
I just call you mine
I fall apart
Just a word from you just somehow
seems to fix
Whatever's wrong
Oh, you reach into the weakest moments
And remind me that I'm strong
You've got to know
I'd be a fool not to see you even worse
To forget that you're more than I deserve
Cause everyone that sees you
Always want's to know you
And everyone that knows you
Always has a smile
You're standing ovation after years of waiting
For a chance to finally shine
Everyone calls you amazing
Yeah
I just call you mine
Nothing makes sense when you're not here
As if my whole world disappears
Without you what's the point of it
Cause everyone that sees you
Always want's to know you
And everyone that knows you
Always has a smile
You're the dream that I've been chasin' after years of waiting
For a chance to finally shine
Everyone calls you amazing
I just call you mine
Everyone calls you amazing
I just call you mine
It's not love yet and it will take time but baby, you mean so much to me. You have been nothing short of amazing and wonderful. You treat me like a queen. At times, I feel like I am not worth all the affection you pour on me becuase of the bad things I have done in past relationships. But, we've discussed this. For the first time in either of our lives, the past just doesn't seem to matter. Sure it shapes who we are as people right now but we're both at the point where we're ready to acknowledge it's there and a part of us but not feel the need to dwell on it. To leave it where it belongs.....in the past. I cherish every moment I spend with you and look forward to all the new memories we make together!
XoXoX
Monday, January 24, 2011
Serendipity.......or is it?
I've always said that I know what I want and I'll know when I find it. . . .I've been on countless dates. I've met a lot of amazing guys who in some way or another either just weren't right for me or just as jaded as me and not really sure if they were willing to be with just one person.
I have this friend whom I have had many conversations with online over the last year. He checks in on me every so often to see how my quest in finding Mr. Right is going. A couple months ago he began telling me about a friend of his he really thought I should meet....a friend of his girlfriend's. Like he said to me today when he called: he could understand why I was so hesitant when nothing has worked out for me so far....but now, I'm glad I finally took that chance. I worry about getting my hopes up but I trust my friend in knowing this guy is the real deal and just as genuine as I am. . . .my belief has only been confirmed more so in the last 48 hours.
He calls me Friday as I'm going to set up my boss's DJ equipment and says he's driving back in from DC (he had to go up there for work) and wants to know if I wanna meet up for a drink or two. I agree. 3 hours later I'm still at the bar setting up the equipment....been having issues with our karaoke computer and tech support are a bunch of non-english speaking idiots. But we're not going to get into that...it will just piss me off more. So, I'm irritated and pissed off and call him to tell him I'm not gonna stay out because I'm exhausted and have to work in the morning. After another hour of dealing with this shit I decide....I need at least one drink to calm my nerves from dealing with the stupidity of tech support and the computer ignorance of my boss. So, I call him back and tell him ok, but I'm not gonna stay late....11 at the latest. 330am comes early! He shows up and we had really good conversation. My boss convinces me to do some karaoke and we finally decide to leave there about 1am to go to Waffle House. Make a last minute decision to stop at another place I used to DJ at. Stayed about 20 mins and then made it to Waffle House. The next thing we know, it's 215am! Since we BOTH live a good distance away from our jobs and BOTH have to be there at 5am, I realize we may be able to sleep an HOUR tops. So, I let him come crash with me. He was a perfect gentleman. Went to work, got home and CRASHED! I woke up just before he called to say he was on his way home from work. We met up at the bar I set the equipment up at, broke it down and transported it to the bar I'm supposed to DJ at on Saturdays. We go to his house, watched some TV, then got ready to go to where I'm DJing. We get out there and there is NOBODY in the bar. Just me, him and the owner. So she cancels the show. My best friend's daughter calls and says they're going to Victoria's (a female strip club) and we should join her and her friends. We make a pit stop at my favorite sushi restaurant before meeting them there.
He's easy to talk to, very good looking, has a good stable job, is secure in who he is. He is romantic (other than the first date...lol....I have not opened a single door---he thought I might be put off by old school romance...or that I'd think he was just doing it to try and get in my pants). The way he looks at me makes me smile from ear to ear and feel butterflies in my tummy. I feel so at home and peaceful when he's there. I feel safe and secure. He is just as eclectic (hey, babe...there's that word again...lol) as I am. Musically and socially.
So, we get to Victoria's and I spot my best friend's daughter. Guess what....they already know each other. He met her through her brother at the place he usually goes to. . . .a place that I have gone to many many times. . . .We had been sharing stories earlier about our friends. He had told me one about a girl he was playing pool with....he tells me...that was her. So I tell him remember that story I told you about Jules. He's like, wait, THAT Jules....yeah, he already met and knew my bestest friends in the whole world and yet, we had never met each other. . . .how strange is that!
So, Victoria's is giving away tickets to the Crossfade concert. I mention that would be really cool. So, in order to win them you have to pick the mystery dancer and if you chose the right one you get the tickets. So, he gives me money later to get a lap dance after their midnight formal. I picked a girl Melinda really likes and shared my dance with her. Afterwards, the girl comes up to me and gives me the tickets. Was I just that lucky? No, my guy talked to the DJ and worked it out so that I won the tickets. How cool is that?
We then decided to stop by the place where he met all my friends. I have DJed there before too and even though it was only ONE night almost a year ago, they still remember me. Not sure why but I guess I made an impression. It was me DJing that one night at this bar that introduced my bestest friends to this bar and the reason they still go there nearly every weekend to this day. Serendipity?
The chain of events that led to this moment are beyond my wildest dreams. But I am content. I am happy and I feel at home. I don't want to spend a moment away from him but at the same time I don't want to over indulge myself. Another one of my sayings: Too much of a good thing can be disastrous.
We went to Wal-Mart to get eggs and bacon for breakfast. While we were there we had a pretty raw conversation that ended in us doing what felt right, we made it official. I am his and he is my one and only. We got back to his place, put on Gabriel Inglesies, cuddle up and I fell asleep about 10 minutes later. We woke up this morning and he made me breakfast before taking me to work. I could have drove, my car is here (yeah, i'm with him now....we're watching another Gabriel Inglesies...love that guy!), but he wanted to. It was nice. Is it love. . . .not yet. . . .it's too soon for that. But I am definitely smitten.
After nearly a week and only one day apart....I got to wait almost a week to see him again...he's out of town teaching a class. But, it's ok. I'm off work Sat & Sunday this weekend. Gonna be nice to stay with each other and actually be able to sleep in. . . . ;-)
I have this friend whom I have had many conversations with online over the last year. He checks in on me every so often to see how my quest in finding Mr. Right is going. A couple months ago he began telling me about a friend of his he really thought I should meet....a friend of his girlfriend's. Like he said to me today when he called: he could understand why I was so hesitant when nothing has worked out for me so far....but now, I'm glad I finally took that chance. I worry about getting my hopes up but I trust my friend in knowing this guy is the real deal and just as genuine as I am. . . .my belief has only been confirmed more so in the last 48 hours.
He calls me Friday as I'm going to set up my boss's DJ equipment and says he's driving back in from DC (he had to go up there for work) and wants to know if I wanna meet up for a drink or two. I agree. 3 hours later I'm still at the bar setting up the equipment....been having issues with our karaoke computer and tech support are a bunch of non-english speaking idiots. But we're not going to get into that...it will just piss me off more. So, I'm irritated and pissed off and call him to tell him I'm not gonna stay out because I'm exhausted and have to work in the morning. After another hour of dealing with this shit I decide....I need at least one drink to calm my nerves from dealing with the stupidity of tech support and the computer ignorance of my boss. So, I call him back and tell him ok, but I'm not gonna stay late....11 at the latest. 330am comes early! He shows up and we had really good conversation. My boss convinces me to do some karaoke and we finally decide to leave there about 1am to go to Waffle House. Make a last minute decision to stop at another place I used to DJ at. Stayed about 20 mins and then made it to Waffle House. The next thing we know, it's 215am! Since we BOTH live a good distance away from our jobs and BOTH have to be there at 5am, I realize we may be able to sleep an HOUR tops. So, I let him come crash with me. He was a perfect gentleman. Went to work, got home and CRASHED! I woke up just before he called to say he was on his way home from work. We met up at the bar I set the equipment up at, broke it down and transported it to the bar I'm supposed to DJ at on Saturdays. We go to his house, watched some TV, then got ready to go to where I'm DJing. We get out there and there is NOBODY in the bar. Just me, him and the owner. So she cancels the show. My best friend's daughter calls and says they're going to Victoria's (a female strip club) and we should join her and her friends. We make a pit stop at my favorite sushi restaurant before meeting them there.
He's easy to talk to, very good looking, has a good stable job, is secure in who he is. He is romantic (other than the first date...lol....I have not opened a single door---he thought I might be put off by old school romance...or that I'd think he was just doing it to try and get in my pants). The way he looks at me makes me smile from ear to ear and feel butterflies in my tummy. I feel so at home and peaceful when he's there. I feel safe and secure. He is just as eclectic (hey, babe...there's that word again...lol) as I am. Musically and socially.
So, we get to Victoria's and I spot my best friend's daughter. Guess what....they already know each other. He met her through her brother at the place he usually goes to. . . .a place that I have gone to many many times. . . .We had been sharing stories earlier about our friends. He had told me one about a girl he was playing pool with....he tells me...that was her. So I tell him remember that story I told you about Jules. He's like, wait, THAT Jules....yeah, he already met and knew my bestest friends in the whole world and yet, we had never met each other. . . .how strange is that!
So, Victoria's is giving away tickets to the Crossfade concert. I mention that would be really cool. So, in order to win them you have to pick the mystery dancer and if you chose the right one you get the tickets. So, he gives me money later to get a lap dance after their midnight formal. I picked a girl Melinda really likes and shared my dance with her. Afterwards, the girl comes up to me and gives me the tickets. Was I just that lucky? No, my guy talked to the DJ and worked it out so that I won the tickets. How cool is that?
We then decided to stop by the place where he met all my friends. I have DJed there before too and even though it was only ONE night almost a year ago, they still remember me. Not sure why but I guess I made an impression. It was me DJing that one night at this bar that introduced my bestest friends to this bar and the reason they still go there nearly every weekend to this day. Serendipity?
The chain of events that led to this moment are beyond my wildest dreams. But I am content. I am happy and I feel at home. I don't want to spend a moment away from him but at the same time I don't want to over indulge myself. Another one of my sayings: Too much of a good thing can be disastrous.
We went to Wal-Mart to get eggs and bacon for breakfast. While we were there we had a pretty raw conversation that ended in us doing what felt right, we made it official. I am his and he is my one and only. We got back to his place, put on Gabriel Inglesies, cuddle up and I fell asleep about 10 minutes later. We woke up this morning and he made me breakfast before taking me to work. I could have drove, my car is here (yeah, i'm with him now....we're watching another Gabriel Inglesies...love that guy!), but he wanted to. It was nice. Is it love. . . .not yet. . . .it's too soon for that. But I am definitely smitten.
After nearly a week and only one day apart....I got to wait almost a week to see him again...he's out of town teaching a class. But, it's ok. I'm off work Sat & Sunday this weekend. Gonna be nice to stay with each other and actually be able to sleep in. . . . ;-)
Friday, January 21, 2011
Everything to Everyone but myself......
I am a spontaneous, energetic 30 year old woman. I know who I am and for the most part, I know what I want. I am witty, silly, sarcastic and blunt. I tell it like it is and have a low tolerance for stupid people (I mean do I REALLY have to tell you the SAME THING every day when you've worked here for 3 months already??). Yet, I am compassionate enough to look at the whole picture and help you find a solution. Those who truly know me...LOVE ME! I am REAL! I am GENUINE! I do not try to be anything other than who I am. I strive every day to be honest. I do as I say and say as I do when I say I'm going to do it....or at least try REALLY hard to. You know exactly what to expect from me. I am a fun person with a big heart. When my friends need me, they know I will do everything in my power to be there for them no matter what I am doing. I am a chameleon of sorts....I can adapt easily to almost any environment. I have friends of all shapes, colors, sizes and styles and no matter where we go, I can e comfortable.
Soo....you're probably thinking to yourself.....she's a pretty cool person. I know I am. I know I am a good person with the best of intentions. You would think someone as awesome and amazing as I am would not be single......yet I am.
Why?!?!?!
It's not that I can't find an amazing guy....I have met some of the most awesome guys over the last year since my divorce. The problem lies with me. Most of the guys I meet, it seems that I am everything they ever wanted and hoped for and they're willing to do almost anything to have me. However, it's the guys I find that I truly want to be with are just as jaded as I am. . . .and yet I lower my standards and am willing to accept what ever they give me just so I can be with them. Willing to drop everything when they call and change plans I made days ago. The same things these guys are doing with me.
WOW! Lightbulb moment! I didn't realize that last line until I typed it. I'm free flow writing write now...not thinking just typing whatever comes into my head.
Is THAT the problem? That I don't want a guy that falls so easily for me just as the guys I allow to drag me around don't want a girl that falls so easily?
Guard your heart boys. I am who I am but I am also a mess. Deep down I want just that one person who can be my friend and my lover. But, I know things like that take time. Fall for me to quickly and me see it (you can try to hide it but I'll know before you do) and I might just run for the hills. . . .actually it's almost a guarantee......I don't like to hurt people. It hurts me to hurt people. . . . but I'm not ready to be hurt myself and while you boys may have the best of intentions. . . .you can NOT lower your standards or sacrifice yourself to be with me. I will not allow it and it will cause me to lose respect in you as a potential lover.
I WANT to be someone's girl....I want to be someone's princess but my heart is so hardened. So jaded. I don't know if I will be able to let go with the person who is right for me. My life is a novel of bad timing. I may have the man of my dreams right in front of me but can't seem to get the walls to fall down enough for me to open myself up and be receptive to it..............
jaded (adj.) Cynically or pretentiously callous.
cynical (adj.) Believing or showing the belief that people are motivated chiefly by base or selfish concerns; skeptical of the motives of others
callous (adj.) Emotionally hardened; unfeeling:
Soo....you're probably thinking to yourself.....she's a pretty cool person. I know I am. I know I am a good person with the best of intentions. You would think someone as awesome and amazing as I am would not be single......yet I am.
Why?!?!?!
It's not that I can't find an amazing guy....I have met some of the most awesome guys over the last year since my divorce. The problem lies with me. Most of the guys I meet, it seems that I am everything they ever wanted and hoped for and they're willing to do almost anything to have me. However, it's the guys I find that I truly want to be with are just as jaded as I am. . . .and yet I lower my standards and am willing to accept what ever they give me just so I can be with them. Willing to drop everything when they call and change plans I made days ago. The same things these guys are doing with me.
WOW! Lightbulb moment! I didn't realize that last line until I typed it. I'm free flow writing write now...not thinking just typing whatever comes into my head.
Is THAT the problem? That I don't want a guy that falls so easily for me just as the guys I allow to drag me around don't want a girl that falls so easily?
Guard your heart boys. I am who I am but I am also a mess. Deep down I want just that one person who can be my friend and my lover. But, I know things like that take time. Fall for me to quickly and me see it (you can try to hide it but I'll know before you do) and I might just run for the hills. . . .actually it's almost a guarantee......I don't like to hurt people. It hurts me to hurt people. . . . but I'm not ready to be hurt myself and while you boys may have the best of intentions. . . .you can NOT lower your standards or sacrifice yourself to be with me. I will not allow it and it will cause me to lose respect in you as a potential lover.
I WANT to be someone's girl....I want to be someone's princess but my heart is so hardened. So jaded. I don't know if I will be able to let go with the person who is right for me. My life is a novel of bad timing. I may have the man of my dreams right in front of me but can't seem to get the walls to fall down enough for me to open myself up and be receptive to it..............
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
jaded (adj.) Cynically or pretentiously callous.
cynical (adj.) Believing or showing the belief that people are motivated chiefly by base or selfish concerns; skeptical of the motives of others
callous (adj.) Emotionally hardened; unfeeling:
Thursday, January 20, 2011
the road i have travelled is paved with good intentions and heartache.....
Before I go into my rant I gotta tell you a funny story! We pull up to the red light is goes a little something like this:
#1 asks "Mom what is that NOISE!?!"
Me: Somebody's car music
(Bass loud enough to rattle my car!!)
#1: WHY do people DO that?
Me: I guess they think it makes them cool...
#1: Well, they're not cool! "Hey you, with the loud music! You're not cool so turn it down!"
#2 Yeah, you're soo not cool! Turn it down!!
They continue to rant like this until the light changes....I was laughing so hard I about pissed my pants!!
My daughters are so awesome! #1 is 7 & #2 is 5.
I am for the most part a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kinda person.....I enjoy being spontaneous. I mean at the end of the day....you only live once so what do you have to lose?
I finally went out with a friend I've been talking to for almost a year last night. We went to Cadillac Ranch. I was kind of worried it might not be his style but he was willing to try something new! To both of our surprise...he had an awesome time!! I taught him how to waltz, 2-step, copperhead road and even barn dance!! HE was a champ! Great on his feet and picked it up really fast! The first few times I warned him before I would spin but then I stopped and he was able to maintain very well. After one dance he even dipped me down so far I almost feared I would fall but I could feel the strength in his arms and I have to admit...it was kinda sexy! lol!
The night was definitely interesting...
About 4 months ago I was working the overnight shift at McDs. This pretty hot guy came through the drive thru and as much as I wanted to flirt I decided not to. About 5 mins later he comes back through the drive-thru....."Did I forget something" I ask him. He says, "I just had to come back and ask you for your phone number. You seem like a really awesome girl and you're pretty hot" I NEVER give my number out to customers. I don't like to mix business with pleasure. But there was something about him so I did. We went out the next day. He came through the drive thru so late because he broke his ankle. Two days after we met he had to have surgery on his ankle. We got to spend about a week together before he had to go home to Va for convalescent leave. The break was so bad the surgery was going to have him nearly bed ridden for a month so he had to go home to have his family take care of him. We had an amazing time and he talked a good game about how he couldn't wait to get back to see where things would lead with us. The night before he left I was out with my friends. I didn't drive. We all ended up at another friend's house to crash for the night. He called me and begged me to come see him one last time before he left. I had no means to get there so he sent a cab and paid the $25 cab fare for me to come there and his room mate's girlfriend promised to take me to my car the next morning. I had to leave early because my girls had a soccer game. He wouldn't let me go, he begged me to stay until his family got there. But my kids come first.
I have learned that while a lot of people have the best of intentions..... they rarely follow through. While I had hoped he would be as genuine as he said he was....I knew in the back of my head it would all fade away with him being gone so long. One month turned into two and we lost touch.
Sooo....imagine my shock when I run into him at Cadillac Ranch last night. As soon as I saw him I asked Mike to hold on a second. As I stood up from my seat he saw me too. I spoke for about a min before I invited my date over. Didn't want any awkwardness since this was my first date with him. We all hung out and talked off and on throughout the night. My date asked if it was my ex and I told him it was complicated. I explained the story I explained above. He said he could tell there was something between us when I spoke to him about it today. So...back to last night...JH had a friend with him, BK. I didn't realize what was happening at first....but I did later. BK and I exchanged numbers cause he seems like a cool person to hang with. After we left the bar I texted with JH & BK a little. Then all stopped. A bit later I talk to JH and hear they got into an argument. Then BK calls me and I ask what the pissing match was about and he says guy stuff. After our conversation and I hang up I call JH back because a light bulb has just went off in my head. JH answers and I ask "Correct me if I'm wrong but I'm gonna say this pissing match has something to do with you and BK fighting over me" He responds "yeah, pretty much"
HOLD ON!! You left....you faded away even though you had several means of contacting me and now you and your boy are gonna fight over who gets me when i wasn't even on a date with you? You led me on, you left me high and dry! I hoped you would be as genuine as you said you were and in the end....you're just like everyone else!! I said something to this extent to him today. *angry now* I don't let people get close to me. I don't let people in. Why? Because the pain just isn't worth it! I have had more than my fair share of pain and the last heartache I had ripped out my soul! It has been nearly a year and the would still has not healed. I have bent over backwards for people to be everything they wanted and had my heart ripped to shreds. I finally found someone who didn't make me do that, BJ and in the end the bond of trust was broken and my soul was gone. *somber* But everything happens for a reason. I am the person I am today because of what I learned about myself and how simple a relationship could be thanks to BJ. JH had me from the moment we first met. We spent hours and hours in all sorts of conversation and had an amazing time together in the end....he led me on and left me high and dry.
At first I wasn't happy I was on a date with MW when JH appeared. But in the end I had an amazing time with him and had an amazing day talking to him. I have recently discovered his blog and in reading it have found him to be an amazing person. I don't really know what I'm ready for or what I truly want right now and I have been honest with him about this whole situation. I have been honest about how I and feel about him so far. I have nothing to hide. He is only the second person I have told about this blog. I do know one thing about this amazing guy.....other than he likes to steal my phrases for his blog *HAHA! You thought I'dlet you get away with that, didn't you!! LMAO*.....you know I'm teasing hun!.....at the end of the day, if nothing else happens....I know I have made an awesome friend.....
live your life to the fullest.....live your life for yourself and most of all be happy! In the end, the only person who can control your happiness is you. (you can borrow that one too if you like...lol)
#1 asks "Mom what is that NOISE!?!"
Me: Somebody's car music
(Bass loud enough to rattle my car!!)
#1: WHY do people DO that?
Me: I guess they think it makes them cool...
#1: Well, they're not cool! "Hey you, with the loud music! You're not cool so turn it down!"
#2 Yeah, you're soo not cool! Turn it down!!
They continue to rant like this until the light changes....I was laughing so hard I about pissed my pants!!
My daughters are so awesome! #1 is 7 & #2 is 5.
I am for the most part a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kinda person.....I enjoy being spontaneous. I mean at the end of the day....you only live once so what do you have to lose?
I finally went out with a friend I've been talking to for almost a year last night. We went to Cadillac Ranch. I was kind of worried it might not be his style but he was willing to try something new! To both of our surprise...he had an awesome time!! I taught him how to waltz, 2-step, copperhead road and even barn dance!! HE was a champ! Great on his feet and picked it up really fast! The first few times I warned him before I would spin but then I stopped and he was able to maintain very well. After one dance he even dipped me down so far I almost feared I would fall but I could feel the strength in his arms and I have to admit...it was kinda sexy! lol!
The night was definitely interesting...
About 4 months ago I was working the overnight shift at McDs. This pretty hot guy came through the drive thru and as much as I wanted to flirt I decided not to. About 5 mins later he comes back through the drive-thru....."Did I forget something" I ask him. He says, "I just had to come back and ask you for your phone number. You seem like a really awesome girl and you're pretty hot" I NEVER give my number out to customers. I don't like to mix business with pleasure. But there was something about him so I did. We went out the next day. He came through the drive thru so late because he broke his ankle. Two days after we met he had to have surgery on his ankle. We got to spend about a week together before he had to go home to Va for convalescent leave. The break was so bad the surgery was going to have him nearly bed ridden for a month so he had to go home to have his family take care of him. We had an amazing time and he talked a good game about how he couldn't wait to get back to see where things would lead with us. The night before he left I was out with my friends. I didn't drive. We all ended up at another friend's house to crash for the night. He called me and begged me to come see him one last time before he left. I had no means to get there so he sent a cab and paid the $25 cab fare for me to come there and his room mate's girlfriend promised to take me to my car the next morning. I had to leave early because my girls had a soccer game. He wouldn't let me go, he begged me to stay until his family got there. But my kids come first.
I have learned that while a lot of people have the best of intentions..... they rarely follow through. While I had hoped he would be as genuine as he said he was....I knew in the back of my head it would all fade away with him being gone so long. One month turned into two and we lost touch.
Sooo....imagine my shock when I run into him at Cadillac Ranch last night. As soon as I saw him I asked Mike to hold on a second. As I stood up from my seat he saw me too. I spoke for about a min before I invited my date over. Didn't want any awkwardness since this was my first date with him. We all hung out and talked off and on throughout the night. My date asked if it was my ex and I told him it was complicated. I explained the story I explained above. He said he could tell there was something between us when I spoke to him about it today. So...back to last night...JH had a friend with him, BK. I didn't realize what was happening at first....but I did later. BK and I exchanged numbers cause he seems like a cool person to hang with. After we left the bar I texted with JH & BK a little. Then all stopped. A bit later I talk to JH and hear they got into an argument. Then BK calls me and I ask what the pissing match was about and he says guy stuff. After our conversation and I hang up I call JH back because a light bulb has just went off in my head. JH answers and I ask "Correct me if I'm wrong but I'm gonna say this pissing match has something to do with you and BK fighting over me" He responds "yeah, pretty much"
HOLD ON!! You left....you faded away even though you had several means of contacting me and now you and your boy are gonna fight over who gets me when i wasn't even on a date with you? You led me on, you left me high and dry! I hoped you would be as genuine as you said you were and in the end....you're just like everyone else!! I said something to this extent to him today. *angry now* I don't let people get close to me. I don't let people in. Why? Because the pain just isn't worth it! I have had more than my fair share of pain and the last heartache I had ripped out my soul! It has been nearly a year and the would still has not healed. I have bent over backwards for people to be everything they wanted and had my heart ripped to shreds. I finally found someone who didn't make me do that, BJ and in the end the bond of trust was broken and my soul was gone. *somber* But everything happens for a reason. I am the person I am today because of what I learned about myself and how simple a relationship could be thanks to BJ. JH had me from the moment we first met. We spent hours and hours in all sorts of conversation and had an amazing time together in the end....he led me on and left me high and dry.
At first I wasn't happy I was on a date with MW when JH appeared. But in the end I had an amazing time with him and had an amazing day talking to him. I have recently discovered his blog and in reading it have found him to be an amazing person. I don't really know what I'm ready for or what I truly want right now and I have been honest with him about this whole situation. I have been honest about how I and feel about him so far. I have nothing to hide. He is only the second person I have told about this blog. I do know one thing about this amazing guy.....other than he likes to steal my phrases for his blog *HAHA! You thought I'dlet you get away with that, didn't you!! LMAO*.....you know I'm teasing hun!.....at the end of the day, if nothing else happens....I know I have made an awesome friend.....
live your life to the fullest.....live your life for yourself and most of all be happy! In the end, the only person who can control your happiness is you. (you can borrow that one too if you like...lol)
Sunday, January 16, 2011
What a weekend.....
So I thought I'd be able to change the dates and make a few posts...maybe I can I just don't know how yet...lol
Wondrous Water
Friday, January 14, 2011
It's amazing how something as simple as water can make a day a living hell! So Fayetteville had a water main bust Thursday night. Didn't think much of it since I live in Raeford and work in Spring Lake (opposites sides of Fay)...I get to work Friday morning already knowing it's going to be a chaotic day because we're low on a lot of items and I'm gonna have to pull some strings to borrow from other stores and hope they have it. We are an extremely high volume store and in order to stay running when we have such an issue we have to borrow from SEVERAL stores to get enough product. Now we go back to the water situation. Apparently, the broken main caused a lot of water to be contaminated. Including Raeford & Spring Lake and we're not supposed to use the tap without boiling it for 5 minutes first. My company sells a TON of Tea & Coffee to the Army & Air Force Soldiers......We have makers that have water lines attached to them so we cannot just add water to the makers after boiling it. No coffee, no tea, no sodas, no OJ. We have bottled water (which we're almost out of), chocolate milk, white milk and milkshakes. It's breakfast time and it's 30 degrees outside! Oh and did I mention that it's the military pay day? Which translates into about 30% more customers than usual!! Luckily I had adequate staff if nothing else! The day was mad stressful and mad crazy and I was the only manager there from 5a-8a. Makes me more confident in my abilities since I'm a junior manager. Not even certified yet! lol! Technically, I'm not allowed to be in the store by myself or have access to the safe until I'm certified.
So, I get off work and go pick up my kids from school expecting to have a relaxing evening at home. Watch some movies, cuddle up on the couch. Then I get a call from the lady I DJ for on Sat nights. The computer that's been broken is in and she needs me to transport it and set it up for her. I grumble, get my kids together as well as a friend of mine who came over and we go get the computer. A job that should have taken 5 mins to set up ended up taking over an hour and still wasn't working. Luckily I had my friend with me and there's a pizza place next door to the bar because it's 30 degrees outside and my kids are NOT gonna be in a bar on a Friday night!! Back to the computer....when they mailed the computer back to us they didn't plug in the hard drive and I had to take it apart & plug it in. Luckily, I know what I'm doing for the most part. I get it all set up and now it won't show up on the TV. Boss lady says that they'll just use the computer monitor. I can't sound check anything because they've got quite a few people in there blasting the jukebox and the owner is a little bit of a witch! lol! We go back to my house and the 4 of us cuddle up on the couch and finally start watching a movie. About an hour later I get a call...."I need you to bring me the back-up disks, there's no sound coming out of the karaoke computer." It's 10pm. I've been up since 330a. I'm dozing off watching the movie s it is! Luckily my friend is still here and we all pile in the car and take her the disks. I fall asleep on the way to the bar and it's only a 15 min drive! Both the girls pass out too. We get back to the house, put the kids to bed and my friend leaves since I can't stay awake either!
A Day With The Kids......or so I thought....
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Number 1 wakes up around 7am and comes and lays on the couch with me (they sleep in my room when they're here & I sleep on the couch) and watched TV while I sleep a little longer. She gets up, moves to the chair and Number 2 gets up comes out and takes her place! Number 2 is my love bug and my fighter! She puts her arm under my neck and tells me to lay my head on her chest! We also have our legs intertwined! So comfy! For the most part we have a really good day. We're about to get ready to go to Chuck E Cheese when I get a call from Boss Lady. She says she just called Tech Support and they're gonna call her back and she wants me to troubleshoot the CAV which is sitting in pieces in my living room. So, I wait and I wait and I wait getting more and more irritated that I should be spending this time with my kids! I understand she has no one else but sometimes I wish she'd just do things herself!! Tech Support never calls! By now it's time for me to go tear down the rest of the equipment from the bar she was at, take my kids back and set up the equipment at the bar I'm supposed to work at tonight! I just drop my kids off when I get the call saying that the owner of my bar doesn't want a DJ if the computer system isn't working because the back-up disks are crap! Wow, there goes my paycheck! Now I'm really angry. I could've kept my kids for another night! Oh well, too late now!
Just another day....
Sunday, January 16, 2011
My night turned out to be a lot better. Met someone I've been talking to online & decided to go out and do karaoke. We had an awesome time! We are definitely going to be really good friends! I slept like a baby last night! Got up around 8 this morning but didn't get out of bed til 1030! Went & had breakfast with Encyclopedia Steve. He leaves for language school on Wednesday. Gonna miss that crazy guy! It's been a fun year! Got back home, cleaned house and now I'm gonna relax and play WoW! I'm such a nerd! lol!
Wondrous Water
Friday, January 14, 2011
It's amazing how something as simple as water can make a day a living hell! So Fayetteville had a water main bust Thursday night. Didn't think much of it since I live in Raeford and work in Spring Lake (opposites sides of Fay)...I get to work Friday morning already knowing it's going to be a chaotic day because we're low on a lot of items and I'm gonna have to pull some strings to borrow from other stores and hope they have it. We are an extremely high volume store and in order to stay running when we have such an issue we have to borrow from SEVERAL stores to get enough product. Now we go back to the water situation. Apparently, the broken main caused a lot of water to be contaminated. Including Raeford & Spring Lake and we're not supposed to use the tap without boiling it for 5 minutes first. My company sells a TON of Tea & Coffee to the Army & Air Force Soldiers......We have makers that have water lines attached to them so we cannot just add water to the makers after boiling it. No coffee, no tea, no sodas, no OJ. We have bottled water (which we're almost out of), chocolate milk, white milk and milkshakes. It's breakfast time and it's 30 degrees outside! Oh and did I mention that it's the military pay day? Which translates into about 30% more customers than usual!! Luckily I had adequate staff if nothing else! The day was mad stressful and mad crazy and I was the only manager there from 5a-8a. Makes me more confident in my abilities since I'm a junior manager. Not even certified yet! lol! Technically, I'm not allowed to be in the store by myself or have access to the safe until I'm certified.
So, I get off work and go pick up my kids from school expecting to have a relaxing evening at home. Watch some movies, cuddle up on the couch. Then I get a call from the lady I DJ for on Sat nights. The computer that's been broken is in and she needs me to transport it and set it up for her. I grumble, get my kids together as well as a friend of mine who came over and we go get the computer. A job that should have taken 5 mins to set up ended up taking over an hour and still wasn't working. Luckily I had my friend with me and there's a pizza place next door to the bar because it's 30 degrees outside and my kids are NOT gonna be in a bar on a Friday night!! Back to the computer....when they mailed the computer back to us they didn't plug in the hard drive and I had to take it apart & plug it in. Luckily, I know what I'm doing for the most part. I get it all set up and now it won't show up on the TV. Boss lady says that they'll just use the computer monitor. I can't sound check anything because they've got quite a few people in there blasting the jukebox and the owner is a little bit of a witch! lol! We go back to my house and the 4 of us cuddle up on the couch and finally start watching a movie. About an hour later I get a call...."I need you to bring me the back-up disks, there's no sound coming out of the karaoke computer." It's 10pm. I've been up since 330a. I'm dozing off watching the movie s it is! Luckily my friend is still here and we all pile in the car and take her the disks. I fall asleep on the way to the bar and it's only a 15 min drive! Both the girls pass out too. We get back to the house, put the kids to bed and my friend leaves since I can't stay awake either!
A Day With The Kids......or so I thought....
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Number 1 wakes up around 7am and comes and lays on the couch with me (they sleep in my room when they're here & I sleep on the couch) and watched TV while I sleep a little longer. She gets up, moves to the chair and Number 2 gets up comes out and takes her place! Number 2 is my love bug and my fighter! She puts her arm under my neck and tells me to lay my head on her chest! We also have our legs intertwined! So comfy! For the most part we have a really good day. We're about to get ready to go to Chuck E Cheese when I get a call from Boss Lady. She says she just called Tech Support and they're gonna call her back and she wants me to troubleshoot the CAV which is sitting in pieces in my living room. So, I wait and I wait and I wait getting more and more irritated that I should be spending this time with my kids! I understand she has no one else but sometimes I wish she'd just do things herself!! Tech Support never calls! By now it's time for me to go tear down the rest of the equipment from the bar she was at, take my kids back and set up the equipment at the bar I'm supposed to work at tonight! I just drop my kids off when I get the call saying that the owner of my bar doesn't want a DJ if the computer system isn't working because the back-up disks are crap! Wow, there goes my paycheck! Now I'm really angry. I could've kept my kids for another night! Oh well, too late now!
Just another day....
Sunday, January 16, 2011
My night turned out to be a lot better. Met someone I've been talking to online & decided to go out and do karaoke. We had an awesome time! We are definitely going to be really good friends! I slept like a baby last night! Got up around 8 this morning but didn't get out of bed til 1030! Went & had breakfast with Encyclopedia Steve. He leaves for language school on Wednesday. Gonna miss that crazy guy! It's been a fun year! Got back home, cleaned house and now I'm gonna relax and play WoW! I'm such a nerd! lol!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
The Tumble Down Effect
It's amazing how one person's wrong bad decision can cause an entire day to go downhill. I usually open on Sunday mornings but now that I DJ on Sat nights I don't come in til 9am so I'm not running shift...the girl who ran shift today is notorious for cutting too many people early Sunday morning and leaving us strapped when the after church crowd comes in.....myself and 2 crew trainers tried to tell her not to send them home yet....but she did it anyway. Then since she's not paying attention to everything and has me locked into front counter position by myself I am unable to be fully aware of the rest of the operations in our store and I hear from the grill: "No Biscuits" WHAT! No biscuits? You might as well shut the store down! That means a minimum of 15 mins w/o biscuits because they have to scratch make them then cook them. This is fast food...people don't want to wait 15 mins for their food. Customers got cranky because of the lack of staff and now lack of food, which made the employees cranky from being fussed at by the customers. All because one manager who thinks she knows everything (and is my senior at that) made one wrong decision....oh but it get's better. Second in command comes in an hour after I do....assuming I opened and am running shift he starts in on me about the chaos that has ensued. I fill him in on what has really happened and he's even more mad. So, he puts me in charge and I manage to get things running pretty smoothly with what I have to deal with. It gets a little better but everyone is still fussy and on edge due to our shortage of staff....needles to say....my day at work: SUCKED!
Been in a weird mood the last 2 days. So, I go to set up the equipment at the bar my boss DJs on Friday nights and realize I've left the amp at my house.....so I drive ALL the way out there and my garage door opener won't work. So I go around thru the gate into the back yard....go inside and turn in the lights: NOTHING! Get what I need and call my room mate....he checks online to find out his reoccurring payment has failed...luckily I already had plans to stay the night with Beau. Room mate says he'll call utility company tomorrow since it's already 7pm. My room mate is a pretty smart guy but "tomorrow" is Saturday and they're not open again until Monday. So, I make arraignments to stay with Beau all weekend. Wasn't really sure how I felt about staying 3 nights and not even having the option of being able to go home. I know how I feel now that it's Sunday night!! I wish I could go home! Not because I dislike Beau but because I don't like feeling like I have to be with someone for any reason. If I with someone I want it to be because I want to be with them. Not because I have to. I don't like being dependent upon someone else...that's how this makes me feel. If we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend I might not have a problem with it but because we're just dating...I don't know...I just don't like it.....
Yeah....this has not been a good day at all....looking forward to going home tomorrow after work!
Been in a weird mood the last 2 days. So, I go to set up the equipment at the bar my boss DJs on Friday nights and realize I've left the amp at my house.....so I drive ALL the way out there and my garage door opener won't work. So I go around thru the gate into the back yard....go inside and turn in the lights: NOTHING! Get what I need and call my room mate....he checks online to find out his reoccurring payment has failed...luckily I already had plans to stay the night with Beau. Room mate says he'll call utility company tomorrow since it's already 7pm. My room mate is a pretty smart guy but "tomorrow" is Saturday and they're not open again until Monday. So, I make arraignments to stay with Beau all weekend. Wasn't really sure how I felt about staying 3 nights and not even having the option of being able to go home. I know how I feel now that it's Sunday night!! I wish I could go home! Not because I dislike Beau but because I don't like feeling like I have to be with someone for any reason. If I with someone I want it to be because I want to be with them. Not because I have to. I don't like being dependent upon someone else...that's how this makes me feel. If we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend I might not have a problem with it but because we're just dating...I don't know...I just don't like it.....
Yeah....this has not been a good day at all....looking forward to going home tomorrow after work!
Just Another Day.....
So, I karaoke DJ on the weekends....tonight as one of those nights where everything that could go wrong went wrong. I as missing a speaker cable....and then my laptop decided it didn't want to work properly and ALL my music is on it....why use CDs if you don't have to.....lol! I managed tho....
Tonight, I introduce you to my friend, G. I met him awhile back while DJing. From what we've leaned about each other so far....G is an amazing person stuck in an unfortunate situation. He got married had kids and in typical army wife fashion....she left him for "something better." BUt G's wife has no idea what she's giving up. While he's not typically my type...i enjoy every minute we spend together. We were open and honest with each other from the begining. I knew he was married and he knew I am "with" my Beau....When I am with G, I feel like I'm with my best friend. But, alas, the life of the army....G is leaving soon....maybe just a few weeks.....I am exhausted and will talk more about this later.....
Tonight, I introduce you to my friend, G. I met him awhile back while DJing. From what we've leaned about each other so far....G is an amazing person stuck in an unfortunate situation. He got married had kids and in typical army wife fashion....she left him for "something better." BUt G's wife has no idea what she's giving up. While he's not typically my type...i enjoy every minute we spend together. We were open and honest with each other from the begining. I knew he was married and he knew I am "with" my Beau....When I am with G, I feel like I'm with my best friend. But, alas, the life of the army....G is leaving soon....maybe just a few weeks.....I am exhausted and will talk more about this later.....
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Contentment
Had a nice night with my beau....can't call him my boyfriend yet....but we're getting there....it's amazing how things have changed in the dating world....Off work this morning.....sitting in his living room while he's at work. It's kind of nice....very relaxing.
A little background....he's in the Army and I am a manager for a very large fast food chain. Not my ideal job but it's a stepping stone. My job will help pay for me to go to college and be what I've always wanted to be...a paramedic. I surprisingly love my job. I am the opening manager 4 days a week and I karaoke DJ on Sat nights.
My ex-husband and I divorced Feb 2010 after nearly 7 years of marriage and 2 beautiful daughters. I lovingly call them #1 and #2....birth order...not favorites and they know that!
I have struggled my whole life to find my place in this world. . . .ever since I was a little girl. While my ex and I were separated...stupid state laws require a one year separation....I began dating an amazing guy who helped me find myself and who I was. While the way it ended was pretty shitty, it was a turning point in my life. He was the first person who ever accepted me for who I am and didn't try to make me into someone I wasn't and the first person I was able to do the same with. He taught me that relationships don't have to be so complicated. That you can talk through things as they happen instead of blowing up and getting into screaming matches. We were together nearly 8 months without a single argument. But alas, the life of the Army....he left just as my divorce was being finalized. I realized my life here is where I need to be and he needed to be across the country with his daughter and family. After our break-up, I found it difficult to date people seriously....why settle for mediocre when you can have your dreams?
My takes on life are this: Be true to yourself! Never sacrifice your own happiness for someone else. The ONLY person who can control your happiness is you. It may be lonely but it's not worth giving up who you are for someone else and the one who is worth it, won't make you do it.
So, back to my morning....my beau and I crashed early last night....around 8p. I woke up with him this morn around 7 (he got to go in late this morning because he has to fly....he's a Blackhawk crew chief). By 8am I had already got texts from 2 of my employees. One had a death in the family and was upset the manager on duty wouldn't let her go home and wanted to get in touch with the store manager. I chatted with her a bit and told her if she needed tomorrow or Sat off (when I open) to let me know. Then, my BFF (lol) texts and asks me if I open tomorrow. I respond "yes ma'am" and i get a text back "Yayz!!....I get my fave back hahahahah....no lie i like it bttr when u open" Most people would get annoyed at being bugged on their day off but I treat my employees like my kids/family.
It took some getting used to from the people who have worked there for years but they have come to truly respect me! Some are haters but I can't help that. The only people who don't like me are the ones who are either jealous or don't like it because I don't play favorites. You might be thinking Huh? you just called her your BFF....I am who I am regardless. I am true to myself at work and away. I try everyday to be fair and consistent. Those who work with me the most know this about me: We have a job to do and that's what I expect. We can joke around and have fun when there is down time but when it comes down to it, business is business. These are the rules and I expect you to follow them...at the same time I will not ask you to do something I wouldn't want to do without helping you out. I also will not do anything I tell you you can't do. I may be their boss but I have to hold myself to the same standards in order to gain the respect. It's nice to hear people say "Yeah, if anybody else had called me and asked me to work, i'd have said no!" I am a person and I am compassionate. You take care of me and I'll take care of you. We have a business to run but if we don't have people, what's the point? They also know that I'm not afraid to be told when I mess up. How can I grow if I don't know where I fall short?
I know my posts is kinda random....scattered...but that's me. I tried to fight it but finally accepted a diagnosis of ADD 2 years ago. It was also a turning point in my life when my doctor gave me a sheet with the symptoms of ADD....I read it and said "Wow, this is EVERYTHING I ever hated about myself all my life" I am currently not on any medication for it since I lost my insurance in the divorce but my insurance with my job kicks in next month.
Well, this is my ramblings for today.....looking forward to dinner with the kids and my beau tonight. While they have met him several times before in a casual setting...this is the first time we've gone out together. The girls absolutely think he's awesome. Soon we'll tell them we're more than just friends......but who really needs a label?
A little background....he's in the Army and I am a manager for a very large fast food chain. Not my ideal job but it's a stepping stone. My job will help pay for me to go to college and be what I've always wanted to be...a paramedic. I surprisingly love my job. I am the opening manager 4 days a week and I karaoke DJ on Sat nights.
My ex-husband and I divorced Feb 2010 after nearly 7 years of marriage and 2 beautiful daughters. I lovingly call them #1 and #2....birth order...not favorites and they know that!
I have struggled my whole life to find my place in this world. . . .ever since I was a little girl. While my ex and I were separated...stupid state laws require a one year separation....I began dating an amazing guy who helped me find myself and who I was. While the way it ended was pretty shitty, it was a turning point in my life. He was the first person who ever accepted me for who I am and didn't try to make me into someone I wasn't and the first person I was able to do the same with. He taught me that relationships don't have to be so complicated. That you can talk through things as they happen instead of blowing up and getting into screaming matches. We were together nearly 8 months without a single argument. But alas, the life of the Army....he left just as my divorce was being finalized. I realized my life here is where I need to be and he needed to be across the country with his daughter and family. After our break-up, I found it difficult to date people seriously....why settle for mediocre when you can have your dreams?
My takes on life are this: Be true to yourself! Never sacrifice your own happiness for someone else. The ONLY person who can control your happiness is you. It may be lonely but it's not worth giving up who you are for someone else and the one who is worth it, won't make you do it.
So, back to my morning....my beau and I crashed early last night....around 8p. I woke up with him this morn around 7 (he got to go in late this morning because he has to fly....he's a Blackhawk crew chief). By 8am I had already got texts from 2 of my employees. One had a death in the family and was upset the manager on duty wouldn't let her go home and wanted to get in touch with the store manager. I chatted with her a bit and told her if she needed tomorrow or Sat off (when I open) to let me know. Then, my BFF (lol) texts and asks me if I open tomorrow. I respond "yes ma'am" and i get a text back "Yayz!!....I get my fave back hahahahah....no lie i like it bttr when u open" Most people would get annoyed at being bugged on their day off but I treat my employees like my kids/family.
It took some getting used to from the people who have worked there for years but they have come to truly respect me! Some are haters but I can't help that. The only people who don't like me are the ones who are either jealous or don't like it because I don't play favorites. You might be thinking Huh? you just called her your BFF....I am who I am regardless. I am true to myself at work and away. I try everyday to be fair and consistent. Those who work with me the most know this about me: We have a job to do and that's what I expect. We can joke around and have fun when there is down time but when it comes down to it, business is business. These are the rules and I expect you to follow them...at the same time I will not ask you to do something I wouldn't want to do without helping you out. I also will not do anything I tell you you can't do. I may be their boss but I have to hold myself to the same standards in order to gain the respect. It's nice to hear people say "Yeah, if anybody else had called me and asked me to work, i'd have said no!" I am a person and I am compassionate. You take care of me and I'll take care of you. We have a business to run but if we don't have people, what's the point? They also know that I'm not afraid to be told when I mess up. How can I grow if I don't know where I fall short?
I know my posts is kinda random....scattered...but that's me. I tried to fight it but finally accepted a diagnosis of ADD 2 years ago. It was also a turning point in my life when my doctor gave me a sheet with the symptoms of ADD....I read it and said "Wow, this is EVERYTHING I ever hated about myself all my life" I am currently not on any medication for it since I lost my insurance in the divorce but my insurance with my job kicks in next month.
Well, this is my ramblings for today.....looking forward to dinner with the kids and my beau tonight. While they have met him several times before in a casual setting...this is the first time we've gone out together. The girls absolutely think he's awesome. Soon we'll tell them we're more than just friends......but who really needs a label?
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
What A Day!
I came to a realization today.....i now now why I am so silly and free in my personal life.....it's because I'm so hard on myself. I came to this realization while on my break today. I went back to the manager's office and just dropped to my knees at the desk...i was laughing and crying at the same time. Why, because I had the biggest day of my life at work today!! I have been at my current job since July 2010. I went to manager's training class in September 2010. The manager who taught my classes became my store manager two weeks later. I started opening the store and running my own shifts without another manager in November 2010. Today we had this big promotion thing going on. All 3 of our salaried managers were there. I was the lowest on the totem poll yet my manager had faith in my ability to do it and had ME run the shift. I was excited and nervous. More than ever in my life. Today is a big day for me to shine. Because this big promotional event also brought the BIG DOGS of the corporation in my store and watching my every move!! Talk about pressure!! But I did it! Moments before I went into the managers office...I spoke with our district manager who complimented me on a good job. Said there are still a few things I need to work on but I'm doing really well. I basically collapsed in utter relief that it was over and I nailed it! Later before I left my store manager shakes my hand and says "Thank You, you did a great job today" He proceeded to tell me that he and the district supervisor were proud of my performance today. That I have great potential. I have come a long way in the last year since my divorce....
more to come.....
more to come.....
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